On Anxiety In Older People
Feeling more anxious than you used to? You are not alone.
Under normal circumstances, the changes that life brings as we get older can, at times, be challenging to manage. Add to that a global pandemic (with the associated loss of employment, bereavement, isolation, less face-to-face connection but an increased reliance on technology, to name but a few), the war in Ukraine and the cost-of-living crisis and it’s no wonder more and more people are struggling to cope.
The three things I hear most often about what older people are finding difficult is feeling overwhelmed with admin, living in a world that is heavily tech based and coping with everyday tasks like going out. Let’s look at these in turn.
Firstly, admin. For some this comes naturally but for others paperwork (increasingly online), official letters and bills gets too confusing. The temptation could, understandably, be to ignore it all or throw them away. I urge you to do neither. Instead, as mail arrives, if you can’t deal with it immediately, try and file them away in plastic wallets labelled banking, medical, insurance, home etc. Then, ask someone you trust to help you go through them and work out what needs your attention and what can be thrown out (lose unnecessary piles of paperwork as that in itself can be a source of stress). If the time is right, consider lasting Power of Attorneys – a great way of delegating important tasks to someone you trust. Maybe that same person can help with all the important decisions about managing money in general.
Secondly, technology. This is something that has developed at a pace that so many of us are finding extremely hard to keep up with. It wasn’t very long ago that a mobile phone was just for making phone calls and sending texts. Now, it’s a completely different story. You want to buy something online? Sure, but you’ll be asked to create an account with yet another password (which you obviously need to remember, must include odd characters and be different from all your other passwords!). At the checkout stage, they want to send a code to your phone to limit fraud. Where even is your phone? What if you don’t have a smartphone? It is easy to think this population group have been forgotten.
However, there are things you can do to minimise the tech overwhelm. Be brave and ask for help. Having an old-style address book with alphabetical tabs to write down account details and passwords can be very helpful. Do you have a tech-savvy family member, friend or neighbour who could help you? Most are more than happy to, they’re just waiting to be asked. Don’t be shy! Remember too, that maybe you can be the person who helps someone else.
Many shops are now cash-free and, as was reported recently, even parking machines are going cashless, thus forcing people to download apps with the inevitable registration requirement to pay their parking. Cue more frustration. All this causes angst amongst those who prefer to use cash as a way of monitoring spend and worry for family as they think of the risks of their elderly relatives withdrawing significant sums of cash. Sadly, there’s not much we can do about this except perhaps trying to use just the one card to reduce confusion and, if you want to be super diligent, write down what you’ve spent either when you get home (keeping receipts will make it this easier) or straight away whilst you’re still in the shop. The silver lining of cashless / contactless payments is that you no longer have to insert your card and enter your PIN number. This does make it easier from a practical point of view and reduces fraud risk (no one spying your number) but a possible downside is it might feel rather like Monopoly money rather than real money.
However, before you get to spend your money out in the world you have to get passed your front door which brings me to my final point; anxiety, specifically related to going out. That, for so many people, has become a very difficult thing indeed. With the enforced isolation of the pandemic, came a new ease of staying home. Of not engaging with others. So much so that the thought of venturing out and interacting with others is posing real problems for many. From loss of confidence in mobility, to fear of crowded spaces, navigating public transport and the continued fear of covid for many, getting out is incredibly difficult for many.
Recognising that continued isolation is, at best, unhelpful can however be a good incentive to get out of the door. Joining a club or group where you can share in a common interest or hobby can be hugely helpful. Once you’ve been once, you are more likely to go again. If you’re feeling anxious, asking someone to accompany you the first time could be an initial step to take.
To conclude then:
Don’t be afraid to ask for, or offer, help; with technology, finance / budgeting or anything else
Consider joining a club or group
Remember that it’s good to talk; it helps us feel less alone and we can often find the solution to something as we’re speaking.
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